Friday, August 7, 2009

Kya aap patla dikhna chate hain ?

First of all i begin with this, which i hope everyone of u have heard in those Tele brands ads featuring angrej log, u get to see at weird hours - "Main bahut motaaa thaaaa....! Mere dost mujhe bahut chidaate theeee....! Tabhi mere ek dost ne mujhe is product k baare main bataya, meri maniye ye bahut hi kifayati hai" (ohh... really ? first tell me how come u able to speak such a ramayan/mahabharat type hindi ??????)......."ye bahut hi aasan hai, bas is belt ko bandhiye or kuch der main hi farak dekhiye" oo yeeee !! this ad is not only about getting slim but also it makes u 20 yrs younger. u dont believe me ? see those girls carefully in ad or farak dekhiye....." Aur doston aabhi order karne pe aapko iske saath milti hain free yoga cds"...suna doston!! Go n grab it now!!!hahahaha!Gawddd......."aaaj ki duniya ka sach hai slim dikhna! or slim dikhne ka sach hai saralata! or saralata ka sach hai ye belt!!!" Watttt crap!!! ......."Toh der mat kariye,apne sapno ko sakar karne ke liye abhi order karen!"yeah guys!!What are you waiting for, order now!! With so many numbers flashing on the tv screen you cant even make out which one to call! ok these guys targeting either old people or poor people..but dude doesnt he know! poor people cant even afford your stupid belt!

Tele brands should be banned! Worst thing is that..they sprouted up on almost every channel n take up more than 5-10 minutes of the time slots. Weird female voice ..numbers flashing on the screen..silly people narrating even sillier experiences..take a break man!! And now our indian ad makers also start all this to cash in on people's inbuilt desire for money & beauty through C grade TV serial celebrities. Worst of them all is "SLIM SAUNA BELT" n it's range of same product under different names for every channel..(especially ZEE network) featuring blondes saying "Kya aap bhi aise flat abs chahte hain..? kya motaape ne aapke jeevan ko narak banaya hua hai? kya aap vo bikini pehn-na chahti hain par pahan nahi paati..?" hahaha....

But i also beat my brain sometime back (jab main bahut motaaa thaaa... haha) for what i should do to reduce my weight.Because i already tried gyming, exercising and also made lots of promises to myself like for jogging and dieting but my laziness and hunger was so endless desert that it actually stoped me doing all this.what can I do about it? Daily sun rays gleamed through my window and shouted at me: "Wake up you lazy bum, it's a brand new day! Go for a jogging now & start ur dieting today" but daily i kept all my promises behind and disobeyed it.so how i lost my fat, wondering ????? ok! now for all those who want to lose weight, here are some tips from me but these tips are for those only, who weigh more than there refrigerator hahahaha...:-

1. Want to look slim ? - hang out with fat guys.
2. Eat your food while staring into a mirror.... totally naked!
3. When eating donuts - only eat the center part and in case of burger throw out the center part.
4. Weigh yourself with only one foot on the scale and try to defy gravity.
5. Start eating your food with chopsticks.
6. Instead of carrying your laptop around - start carrying your desktop PC.
7. Attach Full-Length Mirror to your Refrigerator door.
8. Remove wheels from your grocery cart while shopping.
9. Use Superglue as Lip Gloss.
10. Don't burn off fat with a candle.... a blow torch will work quicker.
11. Running to the refrigerator is not considered as an exercise.
12. Start thinking that eating is sin.

I know that u ll not follow these tips so now i tell u the most important one - Do B.tech, leave ur home for ur job and come to bnglore/pune/chennei (plz select the lowest paying job if u hav options :P). Here u ll hav 2 options, either start eating the food available here (local dishes) or GO TO HELL. I m sure soon u ll start missing ur home (this includes ghar k paranthe/roti, ghar ki sabji, fruits, chole bhature, chat/tikki stuff, and all that jo mummy jabardasti khilati thi, that huge amount of Butter melting right on top of a hot Parantha .I challenge u all, show me a Parantha without Butter at my home, and I ll show you a Camel who can play Golf. I mean , aisa lagta tha makkhan hee serve kiya hai, galti se neeche ek parantha dab gaya.) and then u ll start planing to go back home leaving all this, and in this tension u ll forget to take ur meals.so guys do B.tech , leave ur home and u ll watch ur waist goes tiny and figure goes thin, it's going to be at last nice and slim. ohhh... ye to rhyming ho gaya ( i was a poet and i dont even know it), hmmm.... poetry k baare main bhi sochna padega, one more art in me lol hehe.But one thing is for sure, I'm not going back to the prantha-grab-run routine, which I have been sporting since I can remember myself.

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