In arms of sweetheart (hasina ki bahon main)

When I was a kid , having a girlfriend meant two things about the guy to me:

1. The guy ranks somewhere between actor and model on the looks index.
2. The guy ranks somewhere between Mukesh Ambani and Bill Gates on the financial standing index.

But now , not having a girlfriend says two things about the guy :

1. He is gay.
2. He is definitely gay.

I mean, I look around and see even guys in Tihar jail going around in the jail premises with the females from the ladies ward. Guys who aren't even close to respecting a woman have girlfriends . Even riksha-vala/sweeper/peon/sabji-vala has girlfriends. I guess most of the Indian guys in the age group of 16-30 have a girlfriend.(query - Can someone explain to me why having a girlfriend is termed "going around" ? Does it originate from the hindi films wherein hero and heroine spent countless hours running in circles around trees , bushes and water fountains ?). This boyfriend-girlfriend thing is like a toothbrush.You got to have one. See -
" Hi , I have brain cancer."
Thats ok , we all gonna die anyways.
"Hello , I lost my kidney."
Chill yaar, my uncle lost it too....he is of 80 now.
"Yaar, my house burned down last night."
Arre tension mat le yaar , these things happen.
"Hey , I dont have a girlfriend."
What ! Why did not you tell me about this ? Oh poor boy , everything will be fine.God can be real cruel sometimes...

And all this confuses me and poses a question - When everyone around me is "going around" , and I am single, and not a gay , why do I feel a girlfriend is a pretty ( or not-so-pretty) friend who eats up personal independence and hikes up phone bills ? To make things more clearer, let me imagine I have a girlfriend, whom I shall call xyz as a mark of respect to the Mathematics. Now let me see how 'going around' with xyz can affect my life.

1.xyz calls me up and finds my number to be busy .And even though the pre recorded Airtel voice says "The number you are trying to call is currently busy . Please try later" , xyz hears " The guy you are trying to call up is highly cheap. He is talking to some other girl right now and is expressing his undying love to her. He may claim he was talking to his mother. Dont trust him."
Soon after I disconnect the call to mummy , xyz calls me up and before I can say a hello, yells a "Go to Hell ! And take that girl along with you !" The sign of insecurity of xyz.

2.So its first date of me and xyz and she expects a gift . It's not just a gift , but a sweet 'nishani' which carries the memories of that lovely day , as girls says. So I go over to the Archies gallery and look at some stuff to give as a gift. After a couple of hours , I finally buy a gift which costs me more than the price of an island in the maldives :(. sign of demands/requests/expects of xyz.

3.The phone rings .

Me : "hello ?"
xyz : "Sniff..... Sniff."
Me : "Abbe kaun hai ? agle saal bolega kya ?".
xyz : " Sniff . It's me , xyz. Sniff.".
Me : " Oh ok . You have a cold ?"
xyz : "I am....crying....."(with some expectation of some caring words from me)
Me : "Oh . It sounded just like a running nose though.U know what, I saw movie yesterday.The movie got so boring towards the end ,even the chairs wanted to leave the hall ha ha ha."
xyz : " You will never understand...sniff...sniff...i m crying n u talking all this shit....go 2 hell."
Me: ?????????????.

The Sign of emotional intelligence and understanding a xyz needs from me .

4.Me and xyz at the Pizza Hut. While trying to balance a pizza slice, on its journey from the tray to my mouth, a particularly big onion piece slides off and lands on the table.

xyz :" Chee.Theek se kha na. Table manners ! You are disgusting".

While in my single days I could eat anything in any way now I need to take care with great manners ki dukaan. The sign of silly changes a xyz demands from me.

5.
Frnd: oye kal chal rha hai kya movie dekhne?
Me: nahi yaar, xyz k sath jana hai kal.
Frnd: parso chal le ?
Me: parso 4 baje k baad ho payega, uus se phele xyz k sath hun sara din.
Frnd: sunday chalen?
Me: yaar sunday ko xyz ka ek kaam hai, vo karvana hai, tum hi chale jaaoo.
Frnd: saale tujhe to phn hi nahi karna aaj k baad, xyz ka hi ho gaya hai tu to.

The sign of "snatching freedom and frnds".

About xyz, I have around 200 more points I can write against her. But still, saara zamaana, girlfriends ka deewana, so there must be something good about xyz. Just that I don't see it.As for the post title , it was just to keep you perverted minds, reading till the end . Main jaanta tha aisa subject title dekh kar tum padoge zaroor. Sudhar jao yar, Umar ka to lihaaz karo apni :p