Inside the Mind of an Insomniac

What do you do with that time when the rest of the world is sleeping? I lay in bed at night and that is when the depression hit me full force. I lay motionless. I start thinking of every person in my life one by one. I often lie awake at night worrying about the ill effects of getting too little sleep. I have even read that not sleeping can cause you to gain weight, especially if you get out of bed in the middle of the night to eat something.

My problem is that my brain seems to come alive when I try to sleep. Lying there, I wind up having an interior dialogue, like this:

Me: Okay, lights are out. Time to sleep.

Brain: Now would be a good time to worry about your life.

Me: No! There's nothing I can do about my life right now.

Brain: I disagree. We can calculate how long it will take you to get ur life on right way.

Me: How ?

Brain: I have many suggestions for you.

Me: No thanks, i dont need it.

Brain: But please think about your life.

Me: Just stop, okay? No more thoughts.

Brain: why are you so depressed?

Me: i said stop please.

Brain: hey it would be great for you, just go and hang out tomorrow.

Me: with whom?....alone?

Brain: Hmmmm...point!....Why dont you leave your home?

Me: But if i ever leave tomorrow, will all be happier or what?

Brain: Hahaha who cares?

Me: ya right! everyone is busy with their own lives and worries. But no, i will not do this. Calm down, this is going to pass.

Brain: No, you are so fucked up. This is how you ll feel for rest of your life.

Me: Ok whatever, i get used to it.

Brain: Hahahahaha.....

Me: Cant you tell me something funny ? so that i can have a healthy sleep.

Brain: hey do you remember that public toilet was closed yesterday. why? Are they afraid someone will clean it?

Me: I dont know.

Brain: Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

Me: are you crazy?

Brain: If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

Me: pata nahi.

Brain: Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?

Me: hahaha why are you thinking this, it's none of your business.

Brain: Ok next one. If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take their nose ring out. Does fluid come out of the piercing hole?

Me: please sone de yaar.

Brain: ok now, the serious one. why do man have nipples?

Me: yaar please so ja, its 4am now.

Brain: You asked me to talk about something funny.

Me: sorry! my mistake.

Brain: Are you sleepy yet?

Me: Yes! Let's go to sleep.

Brain: fine!